Keeping It In Perspective This Time Of Year

Liya & I Dancing at Natalie & Jonathan's Wedding

Happy Sunday Evening!  Usually, I write about running but tonight a little departure given the time of year. Here goes...

Blood curdling scream.  My eyes dart open. I look at my phone.  4:36a on Monday morning.  Liya is awake and crying with a more urgent tone than the typical middle of the night cry.  Sarah, as usual, offers to get up and try to get her back to sleep.  In our house, Sarah is the sleep genie.  I said, "no, it's my turn.  You always get up." And with that, I head downstairs.  

I walk into Liya's room and she is in full meltdown mode.  I enter the room and she yells my name, "Daddy."  I pick her up, kiss her forehead, give her a hug, and we sit still for a minute.  I try to lay her down with me on the couch in her room, but that results in the end to the cease cry.  Crying resumes and I quickly stand back up with her.  Crying stops.  Myles enters Liya's room to see what is a matter.  While he plays the role of "aloof big brother," I know he actually cares about her.  I say to Myles and Liya, "come on, let's go" as I gesture to the hallway.  We walk to the kitchen and let Myles out the backdoor to potty.  Lights are still off in the house, but the prettiest of full moons is illuminating the night sky.  Liya and I watch Myles from the kitchen window as he conducts his morning business. I'm tired and worn out from the early move-in from the day before.  However, as I'm holding Liya in my left arm and as I feel her "don't let me go grip" around that same arm, I am consumed with a feeling of joy despite wishing I was still asleep.  All I can think about is the parents that I watched drop off their first-year students just 15 hours earlier and how they must feel.  I bet any and all of them would have traded places with me just to have one more moment like I was having with Liya. And...as Myles approached the backdoor to be let in, I thought to myself "in 16 years I'll be looking out this window at 4:36a begging for this moment back.  We did not go back to sleep on that day, but we had a glorious morning of eating breakfast, watching Sophia the First, and just being together on a random early Monday morning in August.

Tomorrow beings move-in week for my team at IUPUI, and many of my friends and colleagues have already moved students in their buildings.  For Housing Professionals, this is the wackiest, zaniest, and most action packed time of the year.  Emotions are high.  Parents are quick to yell and lose their cool. It can be downright stressful.  This year, though, I am going to remember 4:36a last Monday and try to put myself in the parent's shoes who is dropping off their child to us.  Yes, for me that student that they are dropping off may be an 18 year old ready for college, but for them their student is that 20 month old that they comforted in the middle of the night all those years ago.  That is how they see their kid. And...I have to say I get it.  I did not used to get it, but now I do.  You see, I'll never be capable of seeing Liya as anything other than that beautiful, brown eyed 20 month-old that thinks her Mom and I hung the moon and are super humans.  Right now to her, we are it.  We are cool.  We are funny.  It's intoxicating.  I was telling the RA's the other day that every single day since she's been born I've woken up like a kid on their birthday.  It's amazing.  So, as I head into this week, 4:36a shall be my frame of reference and that will help me give my best to the students, parents, families and friends who we will welcome this week.

Thank you for taking time to read my blog.  I am coming off three consecutive days of running with Liya.  The Skillman Pack (Liya, Myles--yes he sits in the basket of the the stroller) even ran a 6:32 mile on Saturday.  We are getting faster.  Have a great week and do not forget to enjoy every second of it.  

Comebacks...

Happy Tuesday to you.  I've been enjoying the past couple of months of running and now have run 38 times since May 26.  Last week I ran about 24 miles, which seemed impossible two months ago.  I guess you could say I am in the midst of another running comeback.  

I don't think there are many things that Americans love more than a comeback story.  How many times do you see a politician or a sports figure or an entertainment professional go down in a blaze of glory only to be celebrated a couple years later for their amazing comeback?  The ability to comeback is part of our cultural fabric and while we often see highly publicized comeback stories of famous people, I think spirit of what a comeback stands for is actually quite important.  We all need a comeback story if we are honest with ourselves.  We all make mistakes.  We all screw up.  We all have days or months or even years we wish we could take back.  Yet, if we don't think we can comeback, then life can get away from us in a hurry.  

Smiling at Indy Mini Marathon in 2009 (IT Band Comeback)

What I love about running is that it's a great teacher of how to orchestrate a comeback.  By my count, this is my 8th running comeback since beginning my love affair with running 20 years ago.  There was the ankle injury of 1997, the marathon debacle of 2002, the 29 year-old quarter life crisis of 2006, the shin splint fiasco of 2007, the IT Band disaster of 2008-09, the ankle injury of 2009, the post baby comeback of 2013, and the post baby part II comeback of 2014.  That is a lot of running comebacks. While all of my running comeback stories have a different initiator, some great (Being a Father) and some not so good (Injuries and Apathy), the common denominators between them all were the feelings I felt when I was sidelined and when I was trying to get back after it.  The hardest part of the comeback in running is taking the first step.  Literally.  The hardest part is lacing up the shoes and running down the street. For me, after six months or longer of not running, I have internal doubts about whether or not I am really a runner and then I think I look quite ridiculous running after months of not lacing up the shoes.  Do the neighbors think I'm weird?  Do the other runners look at me and think "poser"? Yeah, these thoughts definitely creep in my head.  The second hardest part of the comeback is the two to three weeks of trying to build momentum against worthy adversaries like fatigue, soreness, aches, pains, and balancing my schedule.  All of those adversaries line up and taunt me and try to get me to put the shoes back in the closet.  It's true and sometimes they win.  Finally, though, once I get the positive momentum going and the pain dissipates and the fatigue subsides and I get used to a new schedule, then I'm back and better than ever.  The ultimate result of any running comeback for me may not be that I am faster, especially as I get older. Truly, THE ULTIMATE result of my running comebacks is that I come back mentally stronger knowing that I am capable of rebuilding myself as a runner.  I can be a runner for life with that belief.  For...life!

Of course, rebuilding myself as a runner in no way exceeds the importance of my goals of being a great father, husband, and housing professional at IUPUI.  With that said, what a running comeback allows me to do is practice getting back up after disappointment, a mistake, or even a conflict with another person.  We need opportunities in our lives to practice coming back from times when things do not go our way so that when we face disappointment in our work or personal lives we know we can come back. When I think about the times in my personal or professional life that I have made a jerk of myself or made a mistake, the art of coming back from that resembles what coming back in running looks like. First, there is the acknowledgment of the mistake or role in a disagreement (Like taking the first step in running).  Second, there are worth adversaries, like the long road of rebuilding trust or having an apology rejected, that loom over the path to the comeback and try to halt progress.  They attack your pride and patience and try stop your comeback.  It takes a great deal of mental toughness not to go backwards or to stop, much like the aches, pains, and fatigue try to derail running comebacks. Finally, though, after building momentum and getting back on the right path you wake up one day and your back, often stronger and better than ever.  And...that is so very important and key to our ability to move our lives forward.  Mistakes happen.  Life gets off track. However, it's not the mistakes or getting off track that define us as long as we are strong enough to pursue a comeback.  Running has taught me this lesson time and time again and I use that lesson in my life each day.  I have no idea how long this current comeback will last.  I hope it lasts until I am 105 (My last year on earth, which will be in 2081 for those following at home).  However, what I am sure of is that regardless of how long this current comeback lasts, I am more than capable of getting back on track should I stop running for a short time regardless of the reason.  This gives me peace and also gives me confidence that I can comeback in other areas of life as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.  I always appreciate it when people read what I have to say.  I get a little nervous putting my thoughts out there because is makes me vulnerable (Brene' Brown would be proud--that's a whole other future blog post), but I figure if my thoughts resonate at all with others then it is worth it.  Have a great week.

Hills Make You Stronger!

Good Morning!  Hope that you are doing well and enjoying life.  I've had the good fortune to run in a couple different places over the past two weeks (Washington DC and Couer d'Alene, Idaho) and the theme that has emerged has been hills--both the hills I run and the hills of life.  Hope that you enjoy.

Hills.  For runners, they pop up at the most inopportune times--usually when we are extraordinarily fatigued--and they try to break us.  In life, hills pop up both expectedly and unexpectedly and they try to block our path and crush our resolve.  Whether you are running or going through your daily life, it is how you respond to the hills that will ultimately define you.  

Tubbs Hill in Couer d'Alene, ID

I've had the opportunity to run quite a few hills over the past two weeks.  In Washington, DC the area I was staying was filled with them. Probably, my favorite set of hills in DC were located in the zoo that was nearby my hotel.  I was able to run up and down the hills and see (and talk) to the animals.  Yes, of course, you know I was saying hello to the elephants, giraffes, and whatever other animals were out and about. This week I have had the opportunity to run (and jump off the cliffs into the water) Tubbs Hills in Coeur d'Alene (see photo). It's a very quick 2500 foot ascent to the top and the views of the lake and foothills are spectacular.  In both cities being willing to climb the hills have brought rewards (Animals and Views) that would not have been there had I not been willing to run them.  Probably, though, the most meaningful hill I have climbed running over the past two weeks is the one small hill on the route in Broadripple that I run with Liya (not many hills in Indianapolis).  As we run that hill I ask Liya, "what do hills make us?"  She is too young to reply and I say to her, "hills make us stronger and we always attack them."  On the down side of the hill I say, "we climb the hills because on the other side is reward."  The message is clear.  Our family attacks the hills.

Life throws a ton of hills our way and often times they seem unconquerable.  The mistake that many make is that they believe they have to conquer the hill all at once.  However, that simply is not true. When you run the way to attack a hill is in short, measured steps while at the same time monitoring your breathing and cutting the pace when your breath leaves you.  You cannot attack a hill with your regular pace or stride.  It simply won't work and you have to make the adjustments.  You attack a hill one step at a time, one section at a time, and before you know it you've won.  However, if you just look at the top and wonder if you can get there, you may not even try.  I've found the same is true in life. When I am presented with a hill, I sometimes get overwhelmed and go down the path of "I can't." However, once I start looking at the problem and develop a step by step approach, then before I know it the problem is solved.  The hill is climbed.

There are a ton of lessons I will need to teach Liya throughout her life and conquering the hills ranks right up there in terms of importance.  Of course, I've started talking to her about attacking hills on our runs, but we've (Sarah and I) already have put that into practice in her daily life.  I recall the first time Liya had an "accident report" at her school and the teacher called me to come over (my office is across the street).  Liya was maybe 6 months old and was trying to crawl (climbing hills already) and she fell on her face and banged up her lip.  Of course, I was a bit nervous on my walk over and was feeling a range of emotion.  No one wants their kid to be hurt.  I walk into the room and say hello to the teachers (who are wonderful by the way).  I went over to Liya and saw her lip was a bit swollen. Internally, my heart was hurting for her and I wanted to swoop her up and save the day.  Instead,  I smiled at her, patted her on the back and said something along the lines of "good job kid."  And I meant it.  I was proud of her.  She tried to crawl and fell down and I'm sure it hurt, but she got back up.  Again, the message was clear.  We attack those hills. 

Have a great day and thank you for taking time to read my thoughts.  Hope that you go find a couple hills to run this weekend.

Slow Down & Enjoy The Present

Hi Daddy!

Hope that you are having a wonderful Saturday. This week has been a great one filled with a few nice runs, some wonderful time with Liya and Sarah, and the celebration of 5 years working in the Office of Housing & Residence Life at IUPUI.  I've enjoyed "my present" this week and that is a good thing.

There was a time when my goals in running revolved around trying to improve my PR's and win road races.  Those who new me during my super competitive era can probably recall the insane dedication to running that bordered, if not crossed the line, on obsessive.  There were countless times when I failed to slow down and enjoy a moment with a friend or a family member because I was so obsessed with getting to my next workout.  I love to compete and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy being able to run and compete the way that I used to.  I loved it.  However, it came with a price and often times that price was a missed brunch with Sarah or not going out for an adult beverage after work with friends or just having an edgy attitude because I was consumed with competing. While running fast can be part of being a runner, it's not the main the part.  Actually, running is about becoming your best self and when running becomes about something different it can become unhealthy.  Often times over the years when I've become attached to running in an unhealthy way I end up injured.  It's like running karma is saying, "if you are not going to respect running, be considerate of others, and enjoy the present, then you are not going to run."  Without question, every period of my life that I have been dedicated to running in an unbalanced way, I have ended up in an injury timeout and been reminded that running is about enjoying the present and enjoying life's blessings.  Nothing reminds you of that more quickly than not being able to run.

This week has been a busy one and one night I found myself wanting to get to the next task, kind of like when I used to want to get to the next workout.  Liya was grabbing at my leg and trying to get my attention.  When I looked down and saw her beautiful face it was if her eyes were saying, "come on, Dad, pay attention to me."  In a second, my heart dropped and the guilt set in and I felt like a bad Dad. It was in that very brief moment of task mode that I recalled the lesson that running has taught me over and again--the lesson of stopping to enjoy the moment.  So, rather than continuing to plow away at the dishes that could be cleaned after Liya's bedtime, I looked at her, put down what I was doing, and said "let's go play."  Then...Sarah, Liya and I played ring around the roses and I was treated to Liya's laughter and smiling face in the half hour leading up to her bed time.  A few years ago, I may have just kept trying to complete the next task, but not now.  No way.  The present with Liya will only be here for a short time and I'm not missing it so that I can put away another dish, or weed another flower bed, or wipe down the counter top, or even go for a run.  Liya is here now, and her favorite thing is to spend time with her parents and her Myles.  It won't always be that way.  Friends and eventually significant others (maybe when she's 30) will become more enticing than playing ring around the roses with her Mom and Dad.  But right now, Sarah, Myles and I are her favorite people and it's a gift. It's hard for me to slow because I naturally move at a fast pace at work, around the house, and out on the road running. Yet, slowing down and enjoying the present is what brings me the greatest joy.  Ironic that the hardest thing for me to do is also the most important key to enjoying life.  Of all the lessons that running has taught me perhaps the "slow down and enjoy the present lesson" is the most significant.

That is enough for this week.  Until next time, have a great day and make sure to slow down and enjoy your present.

My New Coach

Lesson on Hydration

My running journey has taken many twists and turns since March 1, 1994, when I officially became a runner.  It was on that day that I went out for track and my Coach told me to go run with the distance guys.  Seven miles later Coach Rowe looked at me and said, "you're a distance runner."  Of course, he already knew that, but he needed me to know that.  After three years of trying to get me to join the track and cross country team, I finally started running and I've been a runner ever since.

I am sure many others can relate to this statement:  As we progress in our careers, start families, and take on extra responsibilities our time for running decreases.  There are points when it just nearly becomes impossible.  Or...at the very least seems impossible.  Over the past two years the stretches of not running have far exceeded the stretches of being able to run.  There are a lot of reasons--great ones--for that, but at my core I am a runner and running helps make me...well...me.

On Memorial Day this year Liya was pointing to the french doors located off
of our front porch saying "outside, outside."  As she approached the doors, she pointed to the stroller and kept saying "outside."  It was in this moment that I realized that I had found my new Coach.  She was quite literally encouraging me to go outside and get her moving in that stroller.  So...for the first time in months I laced up my running shoes, put Liya in the stroller, and we ran.  All of a sudden, the doubts about being able to still run and the guilt of not actually even trying to run faded away.   It was joyous and freeing and invigorating.  

Post Run Coaching Session

Over the past four weeks Coach Liya and I have run each Saturday and Sunday morning.  We run all over Broadripple and see new things and take "selfies" and she teaches me about all sorts of things--like woofing at dogs when we pass them or waving and smiling at other runners and walkers. Mostly, though, she has reminded me that I am a runner and that she wants me to share that part of me with her.

I cannot promise that I will blog as regularly as I used to, but I will commit to writing about our running adventures when I have a free moment.  Running together provides a special time for the two of us and it's definitely a turn in my running life that I am loving.  Have a great weekend!  

August Rush

Good Morning!  Just finished up a nice 4.85 mile run on a beautiful morning in Indy.  I've been able to run two days in a row after missing a couple weeks due to the craziness of August, the August Rush if you will.  Now...opening for the residential communities has been completed and our summer projects are nearly complete and I can refocus on adding running back to my life.

This time of year is always tough on housing professionals and I'm sure all professions have a time or two a year where work dominates and it's difficult to run.  For me, the key is not necessarily trying to force running into those times, but to remain committed to picking up running as soon as the craziness has subsided.  Even though I was a bit disappointed that I could not lace up the shoes I didn't allow myself to forget that I'm a runner and I'd pick right back up in August & September.

As I was running today I couldn't help but think I'm at a crossroads.  I am contemplating running a half-marathon in November.  I'm also contemplating just running to run again.  The hardest part for me is finding a time to put running back into my weekly schedule.  I suppose once I figure that out, then it will be easier to determine if I want to try a half again.

Have a great week.  Happy running to you...

21 Months...

Liya & Daddy:  Future Running Partners?

Good Morning!  Enjoyed a nice 5.2 mile run this morning in Indianapolis on the Broadripple tow path.   It is an unseasonably cool day for July and I took full advantage of it.  Nice to be back out there running again. 

21 months.  Let me just be honest about that number.  It's been 21 months since I have had any consistency with running.  I hurt my calf training for a marathon two years ago in October and just have not gotten back into it in a consistent way.  And...I am not at all disappointed or upset because the last 21 months have been some of the best of my life.  I'm a new Dad to a wonderful daughter (Liya), we bought a house, and work has been outstanding.  Now, though, I am mentally ready and physically aching to get back after it again.  The break was nice and needed, but I need running in my life.  It grounds me.  It centers me.  It brings out the best in me. 

I hope to write in this blog a couple times a week to share my journey back to running shape again.  I still have a lot more left in the tank.  More than that, though, should Liya turn out to be a runner like her Daddy, then I want to be able to run with her and to run all over the course at cross country races cheering her on.  A couple years ago on Sunday mornings I would see a Dad and his daughter running together and I could not help but hope that would be me and my daughter some day.  Well..I know have a daughter and she may never enjoy running, but if she does I will be ready.  I look forward to the day when we can go out and run a few miles together and just enjoy the gift that running provides. 

Have a great week!  And...THANK YOU for those who told me they missed this blog.  I hope to be able to get the blog going again too!  Happy running to you...

Baby Ski

Good morning!  Hope that you are having a wonderful Saturday morning.  This week has been a tremendous week for running.  I ran 6.5 miles this morning and now have run 30+ miles for each of the past three weeks.  Back on track.

I always try to write with authenticity in my blog and it's been tough to keep the news I'm about to share private because it's such good news.  But...the news I have to share is not something shared on a whim.  If you are friends with Sarah on Facebook, then you know that she is pregnant and we are going to be parents in December.  I'm so happy to announce that I'm going to be a DAD.  Baby Ski, as we affectionately call the little one, is due on Sarah's birthday, which is fitting.  Both of us knew that at some point we wanted to have a baby and we waited until we could be in the best position possible to become parents.  Both of us are driven in our careers and we needed to be able to reach a certain point before diving into parenthood.  We are very fortunate and I am elated.

I cannot tell you how excited I am about being a Dad.  It's a new role and I've already started mentally preparing for how my life is going to change.  I often talk about balance and not taking on more than one can handle.  I tell my Res Life staff that I only spend time on four things:  Family, IUPUI Res Life, Running, Following IU.  You see, when I do something I'm all in and go 100%.  When you do that and take on too much, then everything else suffers.  Therefore, I know that somewhere in between running and following sports that I'm going to have to spend a little less time doing both of those things.  And...I'm perfectly fine with that.  I'm going to approach being a father like I would becoming a great runner or great sports fan or great Res Lifer.  I have to go all in.  In the movie Radio the coach resigned and told the fans that he had to "get his priorities straight."  A few years ago I learned a lesson on priorities because I took on too much and did not put my priorities in the right order.  From that point forward I have tried to prioritize my life in terms of Family, Work, Running, Following Sports.  Ultimately, I'd rather be a wonderful husband to Sarah and father to Baby Ski, than a fast runner or crazy fan.  I'd rather be known as Josh the great father and great husband, than Josh the fast runner (although, I'll still be out there running).

When I've shared this news people have said, "oh Myles is in for an adjustment."  Now...I've considered myself a Dad to my dog Myles, and so I see it as expanding my fatherhood a bit.  I think Myles will need to learn to share the spotlight just a bit but he will always be my little boy.  And...I have a feeling my 5:30a morning runs might become 5:30a walks with my man, Mr. Myles. 

Have a wonderful Saturday.  Happy running to you...

Training Camp for This Runner

Good morning!  Hope that you have had a wonderful first half of July.  I ran seven miles this morning, 33 miles this week, and now Myles is comfortably resting next to me as a type my blog post for the week. 

On June 10th I wrote about "Living a Runners Life" and how it had been so easy to become derailed from that life.  It was tough to admit and I recall writing that I just needed to "string a few days together" in order to get my running back on track.  I'm pleased to say that five weeks later I'm back on track.  It started slow with me running about 16 miles total that first week.  Now, I've put weeks together of 21, 28, 32, and 33 miles run.  I am feeling better and I've already run more miles in July than I ran in all of June.  I'm very, very pleased and hope to keep stringing days together because days become weeks and weeks become months.

I'm reading a great book by Jon Gordon titled "Training Camp."  Gordon is the same author that wrote "The Energy Bus" and that book is one that I used last spring to make a few key leadership points with our staff team in Housing & Residence Life at IUPUI.  I have to say that Training Camp is quite good and I'm looking forward to using it with our Res Life staff when they return from summer fun later this month.  So far my favorite part of the book is a point the author makes about continuous improvement.  The setting for the book is in a NFL training camp and there is an undrafted player trying to make the team.  His coach makes the point to him that the difference between average/good players and great players is that the great players NEVER stop trying to improve.  The idea of "continuous improvement" is one that resonates strongly with me.  One, in  running I'm always trying to get better and better is something that is limitless.  I still believe that my fastest running days are in front of me and that if I continue to try and improve that I'll get there.  Two, at work I really believe in trying to improve and expand my knowledge and talents so that I do not become obsolete.  It's easy for Res Life Staff with multiple years of experience to just sort of rest on what they know and put less effort into building training sessions, attending training sessions, and doing the job.  I find that the best staff are the ones that never stop looking for that edge, never stop trying to implement the next best thing, and always put a unique spin on what they are doing.  Continuous improvement leads to different.  Different is interesting. Interesting keeps people engaged.  Engaged people do good work.  So...get out there and do what you can to continually improve.

I hope that you have a great week.  Enjoy my latest Myles photo.  He's a treasure and he makes my day...everyday.  Happy running to you.


I continually try to improve my parenting skills so I can be the BEST Dad for Myles

Good morning!  Hope that you are doing well and having a great weekend.  We've had a very hot week with temperatures topping 100+ four days in a row.  Surprisingly, running has gone well and I ran 32 miles this week.  I'm really starting to feel like my old running self as I close week four of my recommitment to running.
This week I've really been able to once again the beauty in running.  I live just one mile from a soft gravel trail that follows a canal that runs through Broadripple to downtown Indianapolis.  What I love about the trail is that it's embedded in the middle of trees, which shade you from the sun and make you feel like you're in the middle of the woods instead of a large metropolitan area.  This week I've seen deer, geese, ducks, turtles, storks, and a few other normal things.  However, what absolutely topped it off was the half naked man I found passed out in his car this morning.  Yes, as I started my run this morning I nearly stumbled as I was shocked at what I saw.  There was a very nice high end BMW parked and I was looking at it as I was running to my normal path.  As I approached I noticed a guy passed out in the front seat.  As I approached, I could not believe that he was not only passed out but wearing ONLY a tank top.  No pants.  No undies.  Just a tank top.  Now, I know better than to interrupt what I assume was a drunk guy passed out and naked.  So...I just kept running.  But...I made up a little tune for you.  When your reading this, sing it to the Goyte song, "Someone that I used to know."  Here goes:

Every now and then I think about when I first saw you
Just a guy, passed in his Bee-e-mer
But...why'd you have to wear no pants?
It was awkward and embarassin'
I thought that I could let it go
But..now your just someone that I don't want to know

(refrain)

You could have just passed right out
Left your clothes on and saved me from typing this song
But I guess it could not be that way
You had to much to drink and could not drive away
I guess that I should be haaaapp-eee
That you did not drive and give my car a ta-aa-aa-pee
Still, I wish you had gone away
Now your just someone that I don't want to know

If you have trouble singing the song, call me and I can sing it for you.  Have a great a week.  Laugh quite a bit.  I'll make sure naked guy in the beemer leaves.  Happy running to you...

Celebrating Running & The 4th!

Good morning and happy Fourth of July!  It's one of my favorite days of the year and I typically celebrate the 4th with some sort of run or race.  This morning was no different as I ran 6.75 miles in very hot, humid, and steamy conditions at 7a. 

Running Cross Country in California, Fall 2007

Today marks my 18th Fourth of July as a runner.  Hard to believe that the first 5K race I ever ran was 18 years ago today.  I'll never forget driving down to Nashville, Tn with my friends, Luke and Seth, and their mom, Pam, on July 3 so we could run this 5K in Nashville on July 4.  Seth, who at the time was the real runner of the group, had picked out this race to run.  Pam agreed to drive Seth.  Luke, an elite tennis player, was not going to run but was there to support his brother, who was prepping for his first year of high school cross country.  Me?  I was confused because I wanted to be a basketball player, the coach had just told me the week before that I was not going to play during my senior year, and I was slated to go out for cross country the next month but had not been training.  I was lost, hurt, and feeling a bit out of sorts.  It was a tough time, athletically speaking.

But...I decided that I might as well give running a try.  I lined up for my first 5K and like many young guys I  thought that just because I could run 6-8 miles fairly easily meant that I was going to be able to win the 5K.  The gun went off and I took off.  I went through the mile in 5:30, which at that point was near the fastest mile I'd ever run.  I was ahead of Seth and I recall running by Luke and he was cheering.  Then...the wheels fell off.  My fitness caught up with me and I began to slow.  Seth passed me.  Other's passed me.  The heat finished me off.  I ran the last two miles at a 7 minute per mile pace.  As I finished, I recall thinking that there was no way I was going to be able to be a great runner by the fall.  It was tough because I really wanted to be a great athlete during my high school career and due to my limitations as a basketball player and spending three years trying to play with limited success, I was beginning to feel like I was a failure.

In life, we have watershed moments, which I would define as moments when we have a chance to really change our future for the better.  While I was not successful at my first 5K, my Cross Country Coach's voice  was in the back of my head saying, "Skillman, you're meant to be a runner.  Stop wasting time on basketball."  And...although my time was not great for my first 5K, it served as a motivator to get serious about running.  From that point forward, I began to train each day, to run what the coach asked, and to give 100% to running.  The Fall of 1994 is one I'll always remember because each week my running improved, I was able to contribute on a very good team that finished fourth in the state, and I learned how to be successful at something.  More than that, though, I learned that in disappointment lies opportunity if you open your eyes and never stop believing in yourself.  For each of the past 18 Fourth of July's, I've run.  Sometimes, I run races and other times I just go for a run down the street, like today.  Every Fourth of July, though, I think about July 4, 1994 when I learned what it was going to take to be a "runner" and how that single day changed the outcome of my high school athletic career and created a life-long "runner."  Looking back, It was truly a watershed moment, one in which I found a life passion instead of continuing down a path not meant for me.

I hope that you have a wonderful Fourth of July.  Enjoy your day and doing what you love to do.  Happy running to you...

Some Momentum

Good morning. Myles and I are writing a short post this morning. Ran 5.25 miles this morning and finished with 21.25 miles for the week. I'm happy with that as its my first week over 20 miles run in a long time. I feel good. Two weeks ago I posted my first blog in quite some time. Two weeks later I feel like I'm starting to live a runners life again. I love our new house and where we live. A personal favorite aspect is that I live a half mile from running trails that span over 30 miles. If I want, I can run on soft gravel trails (much easier on the legs) or run on pavement/roads. My favorite route is the gravel path that runs along a river. It is beautiful and it weaves by the Indiana Museum of Art, Butler, and the International School. Nothing compares to Annadel State Park in Sonoma County, but these trails are awesome. Have a great week! Happy running to you!

Myles Turns Two: A Tribute!

Good Morning! Just sitting outside with Myles enjoying a cup of coffee after a 6.25 mile run. Sarah is sleeping on her last Saturday before residency begins.  Running has been going well and I'm on track to hit 20 miles for the week. I'm excited about that. Today, though, is dedicated to my Myles.

Baby Myles

It's hard to believe that Myles turns two on June 26. We got him in August of 2010 and I had no idea how much he'd change my life. If you are my Facebook friend or follow this blog or Myles on Twitter, then you know how crazy I am about him. And...Myles is crazy about his Mommy and Daddy. Myles has helped make me a better person and therefore I thought I'd share a couple things I've learned from him.

Be Happy: One comment I hear a great deal from others about Myles is that he seems to smile perpetually. You see, he has this overbite and it looks like he's smiling--all the time. It's quite cute and I cannot help but become happier every time I look at him. Myles has a great life, but I'm sure he has bad days. Like...when it rains and he has to go outside to potty, or when it's vet time, or grooming time. Yet, no matter what the occasion, Myles smiles. And that...is a great lesson for all. We cannot change what happens in life, but we can always choose our response. 

Myles Smiles!

Love What You Do: I've said often that I wish everyone could be greeted just once in their life the way that Myles greets me when I come home from work. It's clear, Myles loves being our dog. He absolutely loves it. He follows us around, he sleeps between us at night, he watches TV with us, and he's even sleeping in my lap as I type at this very moment. In life, to really enjoy it, you have to love what you are doing and Myles serves as a great example of that. I try each day to approach my job and running with unparalleled enthusiasm and positivity and it makes a huge difference in my performance and how I impact others. While I've always kind of been that way, Myles is my accountability buddy because I see him give 100% each day to being our beloved boy.


He Loves His Mom and Pop

Patience: A major weakness that I have (just ask Sarah) is patience. I'm awful in traffic and unbearable when frustrated. It's something I struggle with and work on daily. Early on when we first adopted Myles, it became evident that "Myles Time" and "Josh Time" were different. And...often times it meant that "Josh Time" revolved around "Myles Time." At first, it was difficult for me because I'm a go, go, go type of guy. But...I've realized that being a go, go, go type of person negatively impacts my ability to be patient. Myles has taught me a whole new level of patience because in order to raise him to be a well mannered and well potty trained boy, I had to be patient. I'm still working on that, but he helps me daily.


Patience:  Myles refusing to walk when it was time for grooming and I needed to go to work.

There you have it. Be happy. Love what you do. Exercise Patience.

To My Myles (AKA Prince Myles, Bubba, Myles-E-Dise, Myles-E, Myles-Myles):

Thank you for being more like a son than a dog and for the way you love your Mom and Dad.  Happy Birthday! I love you! You are my Myles-E-Dise!

Monday Ramblings

Good evening! Woo! Busy day! Woke up at 5:30a for a 4.75 mile run, worked until 5p, mowed the yard, cleaned the house. Busy, busy day. Here's a short, quick, brief post (more like rambling). Running has been going well. I ran four days last week and ran this morning. Mentally, I feel myself recommitting to being a "runner" again. It feels good and provides grounding. I talked in my last post about "living a runner's life" and I am getting back to that point. It's so easy to slide away from it. Not as easy to get going again. Last weekend Sarah and I headed to Owensboro and visited with all kinds of family! It was great to see so many family members and it reminded me of how blessed I am to be a part of four outstanding families (Skillman, Gorrell, Speer, Laupus). As I get older I think I've become more appreciative of my family and how lucky I am. Maybe that happens to everyone as they age. Sarah and I were able to babysit our 6 week old niece, Lucy, and it was awesome! My sister and her husband Randy have a precious baby girl. Heck, I even changed a diaper. Have a great evening. Enjoy your loved ones. Thanks for reading! Go run tomorrow!

Living A Runner's Life

Our New House

Good morning! Went out for a very nice 4.75 mile run today. It's amazing how the body just responds to old habits. Let's be honest. My running this year has been anything but Josh-like. Today, though, it felt good. Felt right. I'll expand on that a bit later.

2012 on the whole has been WONDERFUL! The blessings Sarah, Myles, & I have received have been incredible. While these blessings have made it more difficult to find time to run, I would not trade them for anything. In March Sarah matched with IU Dermatology for residency, we bought a house, and Indiana made a Sweet 16 run. In April, I received increased job responsibilities at work and my niece, Lucy, was born. In May, Sarah graduated from medical school and we moved to our new place. Therefore, it's been one crazy couple of months.  Looking forward to the rest of 2012 as the best has yet to come.

I'll admit that running has been hard to dedicate myself to this year, especially when we were moving and learning to take care of our new place. Even when I would get up to go run, Myles would throw a fit and wake up Sarah (he had a difficult adjustment to his new environment). I have felt that pang of guilt about not running and not blogging and the more that the guilt grew the harder it was to get out the door.  I became discouraged about not running and even stopped wearing shirts from old races becuase it reminded me of what I was not doing.  And...that's hard because my wardrobe is 30% running shirts, 30% IU shirts, and 40% work stuff.  Today, though, the stars aligned, I woke up ready to run, Myles was calm, and I just went for it. On my run I got to thinking about how mentally it takes focus while running to complete the run successfully. And...when I'm running well on a daily basis, I'm able to string that focus from one day to the next day and so forth.  I'm better at running when I live the time inbetween my runs as a "runner" rather than "a guy that runs from time to time."  I need to be wearing those running shirts, blogging, and planning my weekly runs because the only way to get back on track is to live a runners life.  It's time to start stringing days together so that it once again becomes more difficult to not run than to run. For those of you who run and follow my blog, I hope this helps in the sense that even the most dedicated runners who love it sometimes struggle with motivation or life balance. We are all human and as runners in this together.

Happy running to you. Enjoy the photo of the house (with the IU flag of course). Hope to write again soon.

April 1

Good morning.  I have not even attempted to write a blog in about two months.  I'm not entirely sure why that is, but I know you cannot force writing when you don't feel up to it.  Actually, running has been pretty spotty as well so far in 2012.  I just have not felt that inner drive to get ready to race.  However, that drive is burning today because as I looked at the calendar and saw it was April 1st I just felt like it was time to get going.  So...I ran four miles, completed my strength training and decided to write a short blog.

March was a spectacular month!  Lots of good things happening for Sarah, Myles and I.  Sarah matched dermatology for residency here in Indianapolis.  Matching in derm is such a tough thing to do and I'm so proud of Sarah for being able to do that.  Additionally, there are some cool things going on at my job that I'm excited about.  Finally, Sarah and I are looking at our housing options here in Indy and there could be some big news on that front here very soon.  So...despite not running all that much, my life is very full and blessed. 

Indiana had a great basketball season that only leaves optimism for the future.  Coach Tom Crean finally has Indiana rebuilt to compete with anyone in the country.  In Indiana, we really appreciate the way he is doing it and it's easy to love this team.  While we came up a bit short in the Sweet 16, we did go down swinging to a UK team that has six NBA players on it.  If UK goes on to win the NCAA Title, which seems highly likely, we will be one of two teams that beat them this year.  While that is no reason to hang a banner, it does confirm that Indiana can indeed beat any team.  Great thing about the Indiana approach is that the majority of our players--most likely all five starters--will return.  And...we add a top 5 recruiting class.  It won't be long until the next NCAA Banner is hung in Assembly Hall.

So...I'll try to blog more over the next few months as time allows and as blog worthy events occur.  Until next time, happy running to you...

Twitter Reform!

@JoshSkillman & @MylesTweetz

Good morning!  Hope that you have had a nice weekend.  I just finished up a 6 mile run and now Myles sits in my lap as I type my first blog post in a couple weeks. 

Twitter reform!  Despite my self-denial I knew that the day would come when I'd have to make a decision to more clearly define myself on Twitter.  Each day my personal world and professional world become more and more intertwined and it's becoming difficult to use Twitter the way I had intended, which was to freely express my opinion, sports rants, and political commentary.  I have struggled with this as I've read tweets from the people I follow in sports, the professionals I follow in the Student Affaris Community, and the friends and family that I follow.  Truly, I have three sets of audiences and my tweets are not always appropriate or relevant to all three.  You see, the friends who follow me follow me because they know me and they probably find the stuff I tweet funny.  However, the people from my professional life that follow me, but don't know me, may really not understand my tweets about IU, running, or just plain silliness.  It's tough for me to maintain my authenticity as an individual while at the same time maintaining my reputation as a professional on Twitter without an organized strategy.  So...yesterday I decided to change my Twitter approach. 

Like many others, I have decided to use Twitter in a more intentional manner.  Yesterday, I went through all the people I follow and who follow me and created lists that will better help me read through the information that is relevant and important.  I have a list for sports, friends and family, SA Professionals, news, and IUPUI HRL Staff.  Not only will this help me sort through information, but it also helped me realize that nearly 60% of my audience was from my professional community.  This was all the more reason to make this change.  Additionally, I have decided that my @JoshSkillman account will be used to share encouragement, information that is relevent to student affairs and running, and to share tidbits about myself that may reach my whole audience.  I have a Twitter account for my dog Myles, @MylesTweetz.  Myles (aka Josh with Myles on his lap) will tweet back and forth with my fellow Indiana fans during games and share some more traditionally "Josh" banter.  While I'm never going to want to stop tweeting about Indiana Basketball or quit sharing my opinions, I'm sure that some of the folks who follow me have stopped paying attention because they don't want to read about my thoughts on certain referrees or opposing teams.  This doesn't mean I won't tweet "Go Hoosiers" from time to time, but I won't be filling up the twitter feed with nothing but IU basketball stuff or tweets about random stuff. 

This has been an interesting decision that I have wrestled with for some time.  However, the more meetings I attend on campus where Twitter is mentioned and the more I hear about Twitter at conferences I attend, it has become apparent that people are going to read what I tweet and make a judgement call on it.  Therefore, I must make the change so that I don't cost myself in the long run and damage my professional reputation.  While for a long time I tried to ignore the power of Twitter and have tweeted whatever I wanted, it's become crystal clear that I must change up that strategy. 

I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog post.  Have a great day and happy running to you!

The Guy Who Wears Running Shoes to Work

Good morning and happy weekend to you. I just finished up a nice six mile run on a very wintery day in Indianapolis. My post today is inspired by the spirited Twitter discussion on #sachat (Student Affairs Chat) about the role that your dress plays at work in Student Affairs. Here goes.


Admittedly, I’ve never been one to worry much about dress. Recently, though, this changed after I attended a meeting on campus in which an upper level administrator on the vice chancellor level invited a speaker to come and talk with a few of us about beginning a new learning community in Housing. I had an opportunity to say hello to the speaker before the meeting and she said, “oh, you are the guy who wears the running shoes.” Wow.

I was not Josh Skillman, “the guy who was nominated for Supervisor of the Year at IUPUI.”

I was not Josh Skillman, “the guy who received an award from the Black Student Union for my commitment to diversity and multicultural education.”

I was not Josh Skillman, “the guy who was commended at the Chancellor level for providing outstanding leadership during the three day Ice Storm Emergency last February.”

I was Josh Skillman, “the guy who wears running shoes.” Not even Josh Skillman, “the guy who’s a pretty good runner in Indianapolis. Nope, just Josh Skillman, “the guy who wears running shoes to work.”

This was not crushing to me because I am a runner and I made a conscious choice to wear running shoes to work each day despite knowing that the shoes did not match my otherwise professional attire (dress pants, dress shirt, sweater or tie on occasion). However, it was an eye opener. The person at the upper administrator level clearly described me to a guest on campus as “the guy who wears running shoes to work.” She did not talk about the content of my character or quality of my work. Rather, it was about the shoes I wore to work. There is a “perfectly logical explanation” as to why I was wearing running shoes, but I did not get the chance to explain why and in all honesty it would not have mattered.

On Thursday there was an intense debate on #sachat about the importance of professional attire. I rarely chime in on the #sachat feed, but even I felt compelled to share my opinion. I stated that “dress will get you in the door” and that “dress is important,” but that “your work is much more important.” And…I still believe that your work, the way you treat people, and coming through for those you are responsible for and to is most important to professional success. However, dress is an important factor as well. While I wish that we all would be evaluated solely by what is written on the pages in our book, it would be a mistake not to consider that your cover is of equal importance. If you don’t have a presentable cover, then some folks won’t care what is written in your book. For me, I was willing to live with some folks thinking it was weird that I wore running shoes to work. After all, I’m a runner and runners are kind of strange. However, what I learned at that meeting last semester was that the person sizing me up did not think of me as a runner, which is what I intended, but rather as a guy who wore running shoes to work. She could not have cared less about why or about my running. Unfair or not, this was the result of my choice.

So…what did I do? I went out and bought some very nice and comfortable black and brown dress shoes and started wearing them to work with my otherwise professional attire. While I personally may never really notice or care about what someone is wearing to work (as long as it’s not torn clothing, shorts, ripped shirts, etc.), there are people—people who can determine how far we can progress professionally—that do care. I could keep wearing running shoes to work and be seen as that “guy who wears running shoes to work.” And…I could draw my line in the sand and say that I’m helping students and my shoes don’t matter. And that would be fine. But…for me, it would mean that some people—key people-- would not take me as seriously and may not consider me for advancement. Ultimately, that would be a dumb move for me. Why work so hard and screw it all up over pride? Yes, I now wear dress shoes to work and I’ll do the same at conferences and other professional events. When I run, I’ll wear running shoes. When I coach runners, I’ll wear running shoes. Heck, when it’s Saturday and time to go to Target or the movies or Whole Foods, I’ll wear running shoes. But…at work, I’ll wear dress shoes because I’d rather be known for my good work than “the guy who wears running shoes to work.”

Have a great day and a wonderful weekend. Happy running to you!

2012 Goals...

M15s:  My Limited Ed. Mizuno Wave Riders

Good Morning!  Happy 2012!  It's going to be a fantastic year and I hope you are ready for it.  My six mile run this morning was awesome and it's hard to believe I ran in shorts, but it's in the 40s so I did.  This is going to be a short post with my goals for 2012.  A cardinal rule of setting goals is that you put them in writing and tell people about them!  In general, when one broadcasts their goals, then they are more likely to commit to reaching them.  Here are mine:

1. Let it go:  Yesterday, I wrote a great deal about this.  Briefly, in order to truly reach my potential in 2012, I have to let go of any negative baggage from 2011.  So...I commit to letting it go!
2. Leave work at work:  I have a bad habit of disrupting my time with Sarah & Myles by checking work email on my iPhone.  Sometimes, this is good and sometimes it's adds needless frustration to a time that is supposed to be spent with Sarah and Myles.  Worse than that, sometimes I bring home residual feelings that just need to be left in my office.  So...I commit to managing my work/life balance by leaving work at work unless it's an emergency.
3. Stay healthy in running:  I've had two very good years of training (averaging over 1800 miles run the past two years).  A great deal of that health has to do with taking 1-2 days off from running each week and also through core training.  So...I commit to staying healthy.
4. Focus on 5K/10K/10MILE:  I have flirted with the idea of the ultra marathon, but that would severely impact my ability to meet goal #3.  So...I'm going to try and run a sub 16:59 5K, a sub 34:59 10K, and a sub 58:59 10 Mile.  If I train well, there is no reason I cannot reach PR's (personal records) in the 10K and 10 Mile.  So...I commit to these running time goals.
5. Write a book:  This one scares me a bit.  But...more than a few people have suggested I turn this blog into a book.  So...I commit to writing a book this year.  Who knows, maybe it'll get published.

So...there you have my goals for 2012.  We have 366 days this year and I plan to make the most of each one.  Here's to a Happy New Year for you and your loved ones.  Happy running to you!