Competitive...

I've seen a lot lately about people using a word or two to describe themselves.  It's a cool concept, although I've not really participated.  I'd have a difficult time coming up with a "few" words because I'm so long-winded, but one word I know would be there is "competitive."  Being competitive helps me be very good at my work and a pretty good runner.  If unchecked, though, being competitive can also be quite maddening for those around me.

Since I can recall, I've been extremely competitive.  As a kid I HATED to lose and I always wanted to be first or the best.  In youth baseball I can recall a time where I was so mad about striking out that I threw my bat, tossed my gum, ran to the dugout and tossed my batting gloves on the roof.  I was competitive with a capitol "C."  In fact, I once skipped a nice family vacation to Dallas when I was 13 so that I could play in a rec league baseball tournament.  Thinking back on it, that was crazy, but I worked on my parents for weeks to let me stay and play. 

When I was a junior in high school I finally found a very positive way to channel my competitive energy when a cross country and track coach, Coach Rowe, finally convinced me to use my running talent to actually run instead of just sitting on the bench as a basketball player.  I immediately loved running because running allowed me to channel my competitive nature in a more positive way for two reasons.  One, running is about being a member of a larger community that is peaceful and kind.  Chest thumping and trying to simply beat another person is not really valued.  Two, Coach Rowe did not allow for us to lose our cool or to act like Bob Knight.  I respected (and still respect) Coach Rowe so much and he would have never allowed me or any teammate to lose our cool like I used to do in recreational baseball.  One time I lost my cool after a race, and you better believe Coach Rowe had me running stairs in the stadium.  At the time, I needed that type of caring discipline.  I still think of Coach Rowe to this day when I start to lose my cool. 

I'm not perfect by any means and I learn that daily.  At work, I'm not only competitive and want our department to be one of the best around, but I'm also a perfectionist.  When you put those two together, look out.  While I don't  have Coach Rowe in my daily life, I have the best wife in the world, Sarah.  Sarah often reminds me that I need to cool it and relax and she extends a great deal of patience when I'm in a tizzy.  I love her for it and I"m extremely lucky to have her. 

Being competitive is something I love about me and it's something I hate about me too sometimes.  It drives me to get up and run a 5a when it's 10 degrees outside, but it also causes me to lose my temper over an email that I probably won't even care about next week.  My competitive nature helps me achieve great feats in running and in my profession, but it also causes me to be frustrated with a bad race or mistakes by myself or others.  When in balance, my competitive nature is a wonderful asset.  When out of balance, my competitive nature can make me insufferable.  Fortunately, I spend most of my time in balance.  However, when I'm feeling out of balance, I'm fortunate that I have three things that bring me quickly back to reality:  Sarah, Myles, and Running.  This morning I was feeling a bit restless and agitated and I went for a run.  I came back much happier, calmer, and with the perspective I needed. 

We all probably have strengths that are good and bad for us and we need some forces to help balance those.  My hope for you is that you have that, and my really hope that running can help.  Have a great Sunday.  I'm wearing my Peyton Manning jersey and going to watch the Superbowl.  Go Colts!  I know that they are not playing, but I love my Colts!  Happy running to you...